The carpenter and the painter

I’m trying really hard here
To piece together my heart
I used like fifty thousand nails
But it just falls back apart

I guess I need some super glue
But all I have are some screws
And the pieces all stay put
Until I remember you

So why do I even bother
You were the carpenter
I only painted pretty pictures
Of what our life could be

But you already had plans
You built all these dull walls
With your bare hands
And I just stood by and watched

As they eventually caved in
Despite all of your good intentions
You made it clear it was your trade
I’m just an artist with a vision


Now all that’s left is ashes and debris
Along with dreams that we let wither
If you were here to see this mess
I bet you would reconsider

New Years Resolutions

I know we make these every year... and then we never keep them lol

But I'll give you mines anyway

1) Adopt a positive attitude

I've had a really rough time these pass couple years. Dealing with with unrequited love, people dying, power tripping professors,aggravating siblings, friends letting me down, other unmentionable horrors and pointless drama etc. But I survived somehow and I really need to keep that in mind. I've reached rock bottom so many times and I've contemplated doing some insane things. It can only go up from here.

2) Take better care of myself

I seriously need to take better care of myself... no seriously. I used to hate who I was but that was was a long time ago. It's time for me to let go of bad habits and start exercising, eating right, and getting A LOT more sleep. Maybe I'll hit up the spa when I get money...

3) Get out the house

Okay this one is really not my fault. I live off campus so traveling is a pain in the butt. And I had a ridiculous amount of homework this semester (I was ready to pull all my hair out at one point lol). Even so I think taking a good long stress free break with some good friends is best for my mental health. Yes I HATE public transportation, but living in Boston in  1000x better than living in florida where I had to rely on people with cars to get around. The journey is worth the destination right? Or maybe the destination is worth the smelly, cold, annoying journey...

4) Develop better studying skills

This will be the hardest. I get bored very easily , I always have. It doesn't matter what I'm doing I just can't seem to concentrate. This has not stopped me from getting good grades but it has made it a lot harder than it should be. I am not exactly sure how I will achieve this goal, but it needs to happen ASAP.

5) Find a new Job!!!!

Guys listen ... I have to get out of retail. Sure it is better than when I worked in the food industry, but if you find yourself thinking of all the brilliant ways you can murder everyone in the store, it may be time to leave. I just cant... I can't continue to do this. It is only a matter of time before I develop wrinkles and grey hair. Not to metion my job almost killed me by having me work during a blizzard!

6) Get out of f*#k out of North America!

I want to see the world. Okay obviously I can't see the world... but maybe just another small portion of it.  Don't get me wrong I don't want to live anywhere else. Heck I don't think I want to live anywhere else but Massachusetts.I guess I just want to see what I am missing. I have to get my passport first though.



Well that's all I can think of... I am pretty sure there was something else though. This is exactly why I need more sleep lol

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

adieu

I begged you
Something I once swore I'ld never do
Please don't leave me
But you've got things to do
Wings that need to be used
Invisible mountains to move
You have no time left for me
Must you leave so soon?
Heaven can wait right?
Yes heaven can wait
But not for you

Goodbye

This is where I let you go
And I know it's a long time coming
So many months since you've been gone
So many months I spent alone
Who were you to me anyway?
But a friend, and a bad friend at that
And still with all your disappointment
I wanted you to stay
I know now you cannot love a ghost
My love for me is what matters the most
Took me so many months to figure out
So many months to breath
I know now that you were everything I wanted
But nothing that I need
So this is where I let you go
Finally
I'll go up on the roof
I just figure Ill be a little closer to you
I’ll make one last wish
With my eyes wide shut and a smile on my face
Just sending waves into outer space
And I hope that you can hear me
I hope that you can hear me when I say
Goodbye
I love you... and goodbye

The Last Day of Sunshine

So the weather is already getting gloomy ( kind of matches my mood actually ) and so last week when we had a little sunshine I figured I would take a few pics. I'm assuming I wont be seeing the sun again anytime soon.

Yeah this semester and my life in general right now is just... not so great. I'm not doing so great in a couple of my classes and it's depressing. Not because I'm some crazed naive overachiever but because being smart is supposed to be my thing. If I'm not the smart one then I have no idea who I am. I don't expect to be good at everything but "when you try your best but you dont succeed"... it's disheartening. The only thing that was cheering me up was my fake ray-ban sunglasses and the pretty fall foliage lol. So that being said it was hard saying goodbye but hey that's life. I'm just buying my time until xmas... Until then FML