My Dear Ghost

Here I go again
The pre-show ritual
Thinking of you in complete silence
You have nothing left to sing
So you're no longer my competition
Yet somehow
I'm the one who lost everything
Oh river in the sky, what is unrequited love?
It's the air that I breathe
It's me and only me
With just myself as company
it's the voice that never answers me
when I ask 'do you  love me?'
Look at me now my dear ghost
I'm all covered in black
even in my shinny red tap shoes
and my sparkly dress
Keep on smiling
Good thing these strangers can't see through me
Don't worry my dear ghost
I'm still your clown when your not looking
And inside I'm breaking down
But look at all shows I'm booking
These blank faces in the crowd
I don't  trust them anymore
And how about that? Suddenly the applause is just to loud
I miss your voice saying nice things whenever I was nervous
and then when I felt good you were taking me back down
But I understood
God knows none you could ever shine with me around
But I still miss your voice
It's true
And sometimes I look at old photographs of me and you
But I imagine the stories behind them
To be something much more pleasant
Like that time in my head where you and I had a picnic
And you threw a big hissy fit
cause all these bugs got in it
And you only calmed down
when I started laughing at you
Then we laid there and just talked
Just us two
But these are things that never were
Things that could never ever be
And I have to come to terms
With the fact that you betrayed me
I have to climb that pedestal
and take down your memories
I have to face the fact that now… there's just me
The undefeated one
The last one standing
And I can barely hold back the tears
But I keep 
dancing
dancing
dancing