The morning after

artwork by yours truly

It's a strange day today
in my head
in my dreams
in my twisted demented reality
its a strange strange day
and the rain is tinted red
running down my drain
I wished for it
I asked for it
what a strange day
my reflections not the same today
it's so crooked
I was so beautiful before
and now I'm in ruins
but thats because I was so stupid
Am so stupid
Now that girl I used to be
5 years ago
she turns to me
she says "what have you done to us,
what have you done to me"
I've given up my dignity
Hoping I could get close
But I never did
I lost myself trying to find him
I'm sorry I let you down
Sorry I've broken us
But I had no choice
I was… am…was in love
failure
And it almost feels good
this is what it feels like
It burns
And I think that it should
But why did he let danger back in
Because I wasn't his problem
And why didn't I fight
Because I wasn't my problem
besides
why even try
I knew I would never win
I never do
In fact
I've never won a single thing
I'm sorry I let us grow cold
I was so warm before
I'm sorry I let us grow cold
I just don't care anymore
these memories won't go away
I'm not sure I want them to
What a strange day
Being happily torn in two